Parking Spots

First of all, I know I haven't written anything for awhile but here I am again! This morning I read an article about Lady Gaga being under fire for recently appearing on stage in a wheelchair because her costume bound her legs together. Today at an appearance Lady Gaga made, she was egged by people who are furious after the wheelchair concert stunt. I posted on Facebook about the stunt and got into a conversation about what she did and compared it to a person who is not handicapped parking in a handicapped parking spot. This made me wonder if people really understand why these spots are so important to keep open for disabled drivers....I thought I would explain why!

People in my case need extra space to get wheelchairs in and out of the car. I have been stuck in situations many times where I cant get to my car because someone is parked to close to my drivers side door or I can get to my car but cant open the door all the way to pull the chair in or even remove the wheels from my chair due to lack of space. When these situations happen I find myself having to either climb in the car from the trunk, pulling the wheelchair in with me all the way up to the front or climbing in from the passenger side. This is a struggle but I have had to do it a few times. Some people don't have the independence like I do to have these options. So, the handicapped spots are important because they do provide the extra space needed for easy access in and out of the car.

In this respect it is not just about a wheelchair, other equipment is needed for some people so they can drive and live independent lives traveling by themselves. Lifts, ramps and swivel chairs provide extra assistance to disabled people that aren't able to just throw a chair into a car like I do. My point is extra equipment takes up extra space and the handicapped parking spaces give the disabled the extra space they need.

Another reason these spots are so crucial, one most of you have probably thought of disabled or not, is that the handicapped spots are close to the desired destination. For people who walk with walkers,crutches or wear leg braces it is hard to walk long distances, sometimes painful to walk and these spots provide easy access to their destination. Many able bodied people park in these spaces because they are close to destinations and probably because of the hassle of searching for an open spot, but does that make it right?

The answer is no, its not! All i'm asking is for anyone who is not disabled to think about  and educate yourself about the importance of these spots to the disabled. Please think twice before you park there in the future! Help provide continued independence to the disabled by thinking about it before you park in that close blue and white painted spot for your convenience! Walk the extra steps from an open parking spot that might not be right upfront. Take the initiative to respect others and teach others respect by leading by example. Let me know your thoughts on the subject and remember bottom line, its just a chair!

Discrimination

Since I graduated from college last May I have been searching diligently for a full-time job with no luck! It has been very frustrating and I have been lucky to find part time at a job that I love while I continue my job search. Recently, I was asked if I ever feel discriminated against while looking for a job and this sparked inspiration in me and I also was curious about other people’s opinions.

My answer is yes and no and I will go into detail but let’s identify what the definition of discrimination means. The definition of discrimination is the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, esp. on the grounds of race, age, or sex (look on yahoo.com). This can include a wide range of people including disabled people. Being disabled I have encountered a lot of people who doubt my abilities whether it involves job searching, dating or my every day life.

For example, I am a swimmer, I love to swim! If it’s warm I can be found in the pool swimming laps or floating on an inner tube and lounging in the sunshine. My grandma has always called me a fish because I love the water. I decided one year in school that I would try out for the swim team. I thought I can swim laps all day, hold my breath for forever and I love to swim so why not? All of my friends and family were very supportive so I went for it. I signed up and went to try outs. The swim coach had me start out just doing some basic strokes mainly breast stroke which is how I normally swim and then the crawl which is the arms over the head and head back and forth out of the water. Well, I failed miserably at the crawl because of the inability to use my legs. I couldn’t swim straight and ended up doing a nose dive towards the bottom of the pool every time. Now just to clear things up, I can swim very well but the inability to use my legs makes me a little slower than others and my stroke methods are limited but the important thing is I can do it.

The coach told me to keep swimming laps and she left. She returned a few minutes later and told me to dry off. I thought it was very weird and then my mom showed up. PISSED OFF to say the least. Evidently the coach called my mom and told her to pick me up because I wasn’t fast enough and couldn’t do a lot of the strokes. She expressed to my mom that I just wasn’t good enough and she didn’t want me on her team! The coach was not even willing to work with me, don’t they say practice makes perfect? I put my all into the try out and was not upset that I didn’t make it but was upset about how the coach went about letting me know. She didn't even tell me how she felt to my face, my mom had to tell me what happened because the coach didn’t say anything to me. That was my first real dose of blatant discrimination.

I remember for weeks after the try out I worked in the pool to prove her wrong! I never mastered the crawl, obviously that wasn’t going to happen and every time I did the turn to flip around from one side of the pool to another I bumped into the side and hit my head. Funny now but not at the time, I finally gave up which is something I hardly ever do!

Now to my answer, in certain circumstances I do feel discriminated against like in the above example. But, I have strong beliefs that when it does happen it’s just because they focused on my inabilities and not my abilities. Two other reasons for why I believe people discriminate due to a disability is because they haven’t known anyone that is disabled and the fact that because of that they are naive! When we think about certain cases when discrimination has happened many people take action and are out for revenge.

I, on the other hand, have a completely different approach. I don’t have time to worry about why I didn’t get a job, why people are staring and the fact that people just don’t realize all that I am capable of. I absolutely love my life and can never imagine myself focusing on stuff like that. It completely ruins your self esteem and confidence and why let it? I can’t imagine myself focusing on being discriminated against; I enjoy life to much to focus on people who won’t ever see the good in me. Life is way to short for that.

So, if you are disabled and going through a tough time or a job search and feel like people are focusing on your disability not who you are as a person, here is my advice: Keep trying, you can’t give up! Obviously the job or situation is not right for you because people don’t see how awesome you really are! Someone will see the good in you; your great personality (I have a very strong personality if you haven’t figured that out) and all of your skills that make you the right person for that situation and you will flourish and succeed! No matter the situation, stay true to who you are, work towards educating people and keep looking towards the future! Discrimination is not about revenge it’s about fair treatment. The truth is that discrimination is out there and it will continue to remain an issue until people are willing to educate themselves. We can’t change the fact that people discriminate but we can change our behavior and how we react to it. Change can begin with just one person! Remember, you can do whatever you want to do and great things are headed your way! Remember, bottom line, it’s just a chair! 

Any thoughts? I would love to here anyone else’s opinion on this topic.

Goodbye cooking and many other disasters, Hello accessible kitchens!

The definition of cooking to me means catching kitchen towels on fire, burning my hand on the oven, exploding water on the stove (literally it exploded) and a lot of inedible burnt food! Those examples are just a few of the crazy situations I have gotten myself in to in the kitchen; in other words, when I cook it spells DISASTER! But the good thing is that I have solved the problem, well kind of, my lack of cooking skills is the first issue, and the second is that my kitchen is just not accessible to me.

Looking back at all of the “sticky” situations I have gotten myself into is awfully funny, sometimes downright awful but I’m at the point where I no longer want to eat food out of a box! I even thought about taking a cooking class but feared I might be asked not to come back after they realize what having me in the class means their getting into. Anyway, the whole topic of accessible kitchens interested me because I have never lived in a place with an accessible kitchen so I started doing some research and found two pretty cool sites to help with remodeling kitchens to make them completely accessible!

This whole topic was incredibly new to me and I couldn’t believe all that could be done to a kitchen to make it wheelchair accessible! Counters can be lowered, lifts can be installed anywhere from cabinets to shelves even cook tops. Kitchen sinks can be customized, cabinet widths and lengths can be altered, wall cabinets and shelves can be installed at any height and cook tops can be created for the needs of the individual interested in having an accessible kitchen. I was blown away by all of the elements that go into an accessible kitchen and finally had the feeling that I can actually learn how to cook! No more burning my hand on the stove, setting the crock pot on the floor, breaking bowls in the microwave, no more flipping fried eggs straight onto the floor because I can’t see the stove top and finally no more eating pasta that tastes like gum because I got tired of lifting myself up every 2 seconds to see how it was come along on the stove! I might actually be able to stop replacing my burnt kitchen towels when I get an accessible kitchen, who would have thought that could ever happen?!

The possibilities were endless to me after I looked at these sites and for those of you that are disabled, this could be you too! It was interesting to me because the kitchens weren’t just for wheelchairs; they customize kitchens for tall and short people who aren’t disabled at all! The companies I researched are making cooking possible for all types of people! Imagine the possibilities, I only checked out 2 websites out of hundreds! So do your research, and check out these links even if you aren’t disabled and look at all the amazing things they can do to help people learn or enjoy cooking in an accessible kitchen! I myself can’t wait until I can purchase a home and create an accessible kitchen, let’s just hope as I learn to cook I don’t burn the house down! Remember, do what you want to do, achieve whatever you want, and don’t let anything stop you! After all IT’S JUST A CHAIR!

(if you want to do your own research go to Google and type in accessible kitchens, yes its that easy!)

http://www.barrierfree.org/accessible-kitchen

http://www.handicap-accessible-kitchens.com/index.htm

Originally I wanted to write my next blog about cooking because everyone that knows me knows I have had many funny, disastrous moments in the kitchen. That will be the focus for next time! But my focused change when on one random day I was lucky enough to meet an individual that inspired me!

I met an individual who has been taking care of his brother since he was involved in a car accident a few years ago. Hearing his struggles made me think how important it is to think about the can and not the can't!

The statement is very general but when you think about it, it has a ton of meaning! What part of life is enjoyable when you and those around you focus on what you can't do, disabled or not this applies to everyone!  Every individual has something they can't do, for disabled people that list may be a little longer but if you focus on what you can do versus the cant then there is a whole big world of opportunity out there for you!  

I have spent a few moments in my life wondering why I was put on this earth disabled, but then I think about the fact that I was put on this earth like this for a reason and realize I have so much to offer this world! I have been so lucky; I have a great family, awesome, awesome friends, my mind and my mobility! So what if my legs don't work!! Let's think about this for a minute, because my legs don't work I can't run or climb stairs. That's pretty much it, all I have to say to that is SO WHAT?!

If I spent all of my time thinking and dwelling on what I can't do I would miss out on so many wonderful opportunities and adventures! By adventures I mean all the crazy things I have been lucky enough to try! For example: going down my grandparents steep driveway just because my grandpa told me not to do it and scraping my body head to toe afterwards getting a sponge bath in the sink crying I'm sorry grandpa over and over again,  going to the snow in a sled and falling face first in a ditch because my brother didn't catch me, climbing on a folding chair because my wheelchair won't fit through the bathroom door at a friend’s house and I had to pee, sneaking candy into the movies by sitting on it and riding a motorized bike with a train of boys on the back and flipping over and hurting my head even after my mom told me there was too much weight on the back or climbing on the counters because i was determined to reach something I couldn't! My whole point is that if you don’t try things you want to do you are missing out! There are many other things I have done in my laugh that I probably shouldn’t have done but I look back and laugh!

Besides the dumb experiences I have been through I have tried many things I didn’t think I would ever be able to do! I use to often second guess myself and not try things, now I get creative and try the things I never thought I would! Just to explain what I mean, a few weeks ago I went bowling! I hadn’t bowled in years and didn’t think I could without the ramp equipment they have, but i quickly discovered it was possible! I completely missed the pins, almost flipped over in the chair (Thanks Kim for holding the chair after that!) and got my fingers stuck in the ball at least 3 times, but I did it! I had so much fun and it was all because I put myself out there and took a chance that I may fail and it turned out to be a success! In the future I hope to learn how to ski and go on a zip line just to name a few of the future aspirations on my list!

All of these exciting and out right dumb experiences I have been through are what makes me who I am and if I focused on what I can't do I would miss out on so much!! So here's my advice: make a list of everything you want to do in your life and get creative! Make it possible, figure out a way so you can accomplish whatever it may be. Talk to close friends, brainstorm ideas and remember that it is absolutely possible!! Don't miss out on anything because someone tells you that you can't do it and most importantly stay focused on what you can do not what you can't! Don’t waste your time on thinking about what you can’t do; it’s not worth your time!

I realize this statement is different for everyone, I have always been disabled so what I can't do I don't miss and for others the circumstances are very different. So don't focus on what you can't do, find new interests and achieve the impossible!! Even if you aren't disabled, this applies to you too! Everyone has things they aspire to do and setbacks in their lives but anything is possible! Being different isn't bad, be your own person. Remember, you are who you are for a reason and you will make a mark in this world! It can all start by making a simple list! Bottom line, go for it do what you want, most importantly remember, it’s just a chair!

Two things I can honestly say i'm not good at: DRIVING AND COOKING

So it's clear to me that everyone has things in life that their not good at! The good lord can't make us good at everything ya know! There are two things in life everyone I know can agree I'm terrible at: driving and cooking! I like to think I'm an okay driver although many people I know including my mom and best friend would disagree! 


You know that deep breath noise people make when they think you’re going to hit the car in front of you? Well they both do it when they drive with me! They are completely justified: my mom was in the car when I drove hand controls for the first time with no previous instruction on how they work and my best friend was the first person to go on the freeway with me!

I completely and openly admit I'm a horrible cook which I'll talk about in my next blog but as far as driving goes I am proud to say I can do it and you can too! It's absolutely possible for a disabled person to drive with only a few minor adjustments! 

The first step is to find a car that you like and that most importantly fits all your needs. I wanted a challenger but ended up w a ford focus and then a matrix. The challenger clearly didn't fit my needs because it is a huge beast! Plus it's kind of important to be able to see the person sitting in the car and u couldn't even tell I was in the car I was so low to the ground! Think about stuff like 4 door or 2, big trunk space, room for wheelchair or walker etc, plus is it spacious enough to fit people in the car once you have all your stuff in it!

The next step after you buy a car is to find a place in your area that can add adaptations to your car! This is important because depending on what you need depends on the car size. But anyway that's just another element to consider. It's important to realize that adaptations can be installed in any car! Most of the time installation just requires attachment to the regular foot pedals already in the car. So find a mobility place in your area by looking in the phone book, calling your doctor or calling your medical insurance 800 number. I did the last option and they mailed me a list of dealers near my hometown! I finally settled on a place in Berkeley! 

Make an appointment for a consultation to discuss your options and give them a clear idea what your needs are! This is important because there are a huge variety of options for adaptations. There are ramps, lifts, swivel chairs and various chair options and many different forms of hand controls and foot pedals. Decide what you want but most importantly be practical about what you need!

When I started the process I was informed I needed hand controls and my seat raised quite a bit! Those that know me know I get my height from my mom and it's not much to brag about! I started out with a hand control bar in my first car and in my new one it's all in the wrist! All of this can be determined simply by the employee taking measurements. From there it's a piece of cake, until you have to learn how to drive the car and get use to everything!

Make a few more appointments and let them worry about the rest! The cost is another factor but do your research because a lot of car places offer rebates and refunds for adaptations! Think about that when you’re looking for a car! After the car is finished make sure you get instructions on how to operate the machinery! 

I remember when my car was done I was so excited to have the freedom to drive! I got in the car with no instruction and with my mom and sister in the back I yanked the hand control all the way to my knees! FYI, a tiny little push on the hand control has you going about 50 mph! I think that is the main reason why to this day my mom still cringes when she drives with me! We went flying into the street, it even scared me!

That brings me to a very important point I haven't covered: driving schools! Practice with hand controls or whatever equipment you may need before they are installed in your car to help decide what you’re comfortable with! Look in the phone book and simply ask until you find some place that has the equipment you need. 

My driving school teacher was tough to find and about 70 years old but I found her and she taught me a lot! Maybe that explains why I drive like an old grandma sometimes! For a few weekends she and I drove around in her clunky Buick but I was able to get use to the hand controls. Remember the story I told above and please practice, practice, practice!

My point is that driving is completely possible for a disabled person but it requires time patience and dedication! I might be absolutely terrible at it but I still am determined to do it! Now if I could just get a little better with cooking! :) Bottom line: there are a few hurdles to jump over but in the end, it's just a chair!! 

My First Post - Bring it on World!

Its funny how a day home sick with the flu can strike so much inspiration! I have so much that I want to say and know where to begin but cant seem to get started! So here it goes, I realized that I had a ton of advice bottled up in this brain of mine due to my upbringing and experiences through life, living with a disability. I never have seen myself as anything but Katie unless it is pointed out that I'm different... Then I seem to notice it for awhile, wonder what someone is thinking when they look at me, but then that fades and I realize how lucky I am and how much I have to offer this world!

I'm proud to say that at 27 years old I  know who I am. I'm confident in my beliefs, opinions and most importantly my abilities! I like to think im funny, quick witted, borderline obnoxious, incredibly sarcastic, stubborn as they come and incredibly hard headed! I love to laugh and think anyone who can make me laugh is the greatest person on earth! I consider it a blessing and sometimes a fault but I say what is on my mind and don't hold back, I'm honest to a fault I guess. At the same time I'm sensitive, constantly growing and cautious! I think about things long before I act when it comes to actions but as far as opinions go, you ask me something and i'll tell u what I think on the spot! As far as hobbies go, I love music, animals and going out, at the same time I love staying in and watching a great movie!  I could but choose not to play sports because I could care less about them anyway! So more about me, I live alone, have a job, great friends, a social life, I date, I'm not much different than any normal individual on this earth. ITS AMAZING! Actually its not, I'm completely normal, I'm simply me. I ABSOULETELY love who I am and wouldn't change for any human being on this earth!

This makes me wonder why people who are disabled are labeled as different or that their is something wrong... Their is absolutely nothing wrong with me, my legs just don't work! So what? Yeah their are a few other things that come along with it but o well, its not gonna change!  I challenge u to think about what is normal? Whose to say that I'm not normal? What makes me inferior to any able bodied individual out there? The answer is it doesn't and I'm not different! Why the label is their will never be a question anyone can answer, its just the way it is, but does that make it right?

The whole purpose of me starting this blog is to show readers that people with disabilities are just like everyone else! We may do things a little differently and yes, surprise-surprise we do have limitations but we can do whatever we put our minds too! The main purpose of this blog is that I want people out their that are disabled to know how amazing they are and that yes, U CAN DO THINGS ON YOUR OWN, U ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE!! Don't doubt yourself for a single minute, u can do whatever u want to do! I will post random things but my focus will be on experiences that I have everyday to show people how I live the way I do and that its possible with a little creativity to do whatever u want to do! People with disabilities can use it as a guide so to speak. Whatever topic I feel passionate about I will be posting it on this blog! Serious topics, funny topics, advice, guidance, whatever it may be! The possibilities are endless! If u have a question or want advice ask me!! Please don't hold back!

Let me just say that without my friends and family I would not be who I am today... They are my life support! My friends are my family when I am away from home! They are their for me through the good and bad times! We continue to laugh and grow together and each person who has come into my life has brought more joy to my life than I can even express!  My parents and my 4 siblings have made me the strong, motivated and persistent individual I am today! They helped me grow and helped me realize never to give up on my goals and dreams! I get my strong will and fighting side from the two individuals that have brought me into this world causing trouble from the beginning, MY PARENTS! I never thought I was different because they never treated me like I was... I don't have time for pity and negativity so the people that bring it into my life ship out pretty quickly, all I have to say to that is PEACE OUT! I have jumped around quite a bit but would like to share a little bit about the way I came to be, meaning the day I was born, courtesy of my Mom's perspective! Thanks Mom, your the best!

So here it goes:

I will try and tell you everything that I remember from the day you were born.  Let me know if you need more info…..

 

Andy, Emily, and I were staying with Grandpa and Grandma in Starkville .  Dad was already working in Natchez and living at our house in Vidalia.  I even remember what I was wearing…a red shirt and khaki pants.  It was a nice day and I had been out in the backyard playing with Andy and Emily.  That evening when I got in the shower (back then I took a shower in the night as there was no time in the morning with little kids) I thought I felt labor pains, thought my water broke.  I got out and went and told Grandma who was reading in her room.  We sat for awhile timing the pains, decided I was in labor, packed a quick suitcase, called Dad, and woke up Grandpa.  The hospital in Columbus was thirty miles away.  Grandpa and I left; about half way there Grandpa remembered that he forgot my suitcase and we turned around to go get it.  By the time I finally got to the hospital you had almost arrived!

 

I had an epidural to be awake when you came.  Grandpa was too nervous and couldn’t go into the operating room with me.  I remember the doctor saying” Oh no!  Put her to sleep!”  When I woke up Grandpa was sitting by my bed.  He didn’t leave me the entire time I was there.  Thedie drove all night—even wet her pants as she didn’t want to stop anywhere—from Hattiesburg where she was visiting with Grandma Katie. I knew something was wrong but had never heard of spina bifida and didn’t really know what to expect.  Lots of tears, lots of praying! They brought you in to see me…you had lots of dark hair, laying on your tummy, and sucking on that weird pacifier they gave you at the hospital.  Dad went right to Jackson to be with you when you arrived there by helicopter.  He called me from the hospital in Jackson to let me know how well you were doing and that he wanted to change the name we had picked out for you.  Your middle name was supposed to be Rose after Dad’s grandma but he thought you looked so much like my dad that he wanted your middle name to be Francis.  The doctors had also told us that you might not survive so I had called my aunts and uncles in Louisiana so that you could be buried by my dad.

 

When I got out of the hospital Dad drove me to Jackson to see you.  I was so fat I had to borrow a dress from a friend to wear and so weak from the surgery that I had to walk very slowly down the maze of hallways and sit down when we arrived by your incubator.  We drove back and forth for two weeks.  Then the doctor called and told us that if we were brave we could bring you home with the bubble on your back open.  The longer we waited to close your back the better your chance of survival.  We dropped everything and left to go pick you up taking the basket that grandma made to bring you home in.  Andy went with us.  Emily stayed with Grandma and Grandpa.  I remember Emily standing on the driveway in purple overalls waving goodbye. 

 

When we got there to get you the doctor was there to give us care instructions.  He also was full of gloom and doom—telling us all the things that you would NEVER do. We were in the old white Oldsmobile—no seat belts required at the time.  Andy sat on the floor by my feet.  He fell asleep with his head on my lap. You were in the basket between Dad and me.  Andy fell asleep and Dad and I talked all the way home about how we would raise you---imagine two 28 year old kids deciding that you would do all of the things the doctor said you would never do and how we were going to make sure the world was open to you!  Dad has said several times that if we could remember that doctor’s name we should let him know how great your life is and how wonderful you are! During your life I often had to remind Dad of that conversation.  Sometimes he would be so worried---like when you went to Chico that first year!  I would often say “Don’t hold her back.”

 

We were so lucky to have so much family to help us.  When you were in the hospital Grandma and Grandpa would stay with Andy and Emily.  Thedie would come stay with you at the hospital to let me go home for a weekend.  We also had so many friends who sent food, let us stay with them (Beverly and David in Jackson ), and who gave moral support.  Let me know if you need more info---let others know that anything is possible!  I am tearing up as I type thinking of how a hopeless time became one of the best times of all our lives.  Love ya!

  

Let me close by saying this, Everyone comes into this world facing hardships and challenges but we all deal with it! The challenges and blessings in our lives shape who we are! I will walk u through some of my challenges on this blog! The doctor in the hospital told my parents I would be mentally disabled, live with them the rest of my life and have a ton of learning problems! Well I didn't and dont have any of these hardships and if I did thats ok too!  I have done all my life what my parents have always told me to do when I complain, "PROVE EM WRONG!" and that's exactly what I continue to do! As far as what I want to do with my life all I have to say is TRY AND STOP ME!! From day 1 I was being transformed into who I am today! As of this moment, this point in my life, my day to day life is not much different than any person who can walk, I get up, I get dressed, I go to work, I hang out with friends...Bottom line is IT'S JUST A CHAIR!